When Pivoting Takes Patience
A Life Update + The Vessel Turns 1!
In this issue:
A life update // thoughts on pivoting
One year of The Vessel!
Feedback? Or nah. Whatever works.
New schedule: second Sundays (starting 2022)
10 Things to Fill You Up
We’re on the precipice of another year, so naturally nostalgia, as irresistible and reflexive as ever, has me thinking back to this time last year. Last fall I was excited to launch this newsletter, but in a lot of ways, my life felt heavy and unknowable. I was freshly laid off, mega depressed, in therapy, mostly homebound and Zooming into my pilates studio’s virtual classes. (The pilates stands out because it was one of the only things I did to mix up the monotony of the time). Now I’m about to start a new job in my preferred industry, feeling so much lighter and more stable thanks to finally (!) getting on meds, back in the studio practicing yoga/Pilates, and generally feeling good. Of course it’s not entirely linear, but I’m grateful things are looking up in some significant ways.
About the new job: I’m starting as assistant editor at the magazine where I’ve freelanced for the last three years. This is a huuuge win for me, as I’ve been trying to make the switch from marketing to journalism for the last four years! Four years sounds like an extreme timeline; I guess I wasn’t actively trying to pivot that whole time. But a bit after I turned thirty, I acknowledged, at least internally, my desire to pursue my real passion of writing. I fell into content marketing because the recession made it tough (tougher, even, than usual) to break into writing in any full-time or sustainable way. So I succumbed to the relatively stable world of advertising, and made writing and reporting my side hustle.
I’m truly elated to make that side hustle my full time gig. But I also feel like letting out a little guffaw when I look back at that sizable chunk of time and see that there is no easy way to glide on over to a new industry, even if you’ve sort of been in it the whole time. For me, at least, it took being consistent with a publication, strengthening my connections there, making an impact with my ideas, and ultimately voicing my ambition. I think I could’ve done that last part sooner. I guess I was waiting for the right position to open up, but not until I met with my editor one-on-one and directly shared my goal of becoming a full-time staffer did things really start to progress in that direction.
I share this because, with so many of us reconsidering our career paths (either because of the pandemic or the desire to feel more authentic in our work lives or both), it can be helpful to see that 1) it’s possible, and 2) it can take time.
When I look around at the entrepreneurial folks in my circle who’ve started their own businesses, I can’t help but feel a little envious because in a sense they can, without permission, create whatever they want and make it happen. No waiting necessary. Sure, they have to build capital and a business plan and capture interest, but essentially there’s no one telling them they can’t do the thing.
In journalism, there very much is. Someone has to let you do it. So, being able to make a living from it means everything to me. The path to getting my creative nonfiction work published, though, is even more opaque. But through reading and workshops and practicing, that’s starting to feel less elusive, too. In the meantime, owning and sharing my work through this newsletter has been a boon to me. One year in and I still love writing The Vessel – making it and getting your feedback is a generative force in my life that makes me feel like me.
Looking back, a few motifs have certainly emerged on here – floundering is a pretty reliable theme, as are relationships, the awkwardness of modern life, and culture. But ultimately it doesn’t have a singular focus. Although its varied nature might make this newsletter less accessible, I like keeping it loose. Writing from my point of view in an unstructured way keeps it interesting for me (and hopefully you, too).
So, thank you for being here. That you read my writing, in whatever form it takes, is important to me. If you have any feedback at all, especially if there’s something you’ve liked or would like to see more of (a theme, idea, type of story/essay), I’d love to hear it.
As for timing, I’m going to commit to a monthly schedule in the new year: second Sundays. Hooray for being realistic about my limits for once!
“Lofi Hip Hop Radio - Beats to Relax/Study to,” the beloved live YouTube channel that streams the perfect ambient work music. There’s also a chill/sleep version, which I love to stream while I take the rare nap!
“A Ghost Story,” the 2017 film filed not under horror, but romance/fantasy. I don’t know if those categories ring true either; it’s more philosophical and experimental? Truly defies genre. I watched it recently on a flight to Boston and have thought of its ideas often since.
Casey Affleck and Rooney Mara in “A Ghost Story.” It’s about… existence? Time loops? Love? Spirituality? All of that. Also notable is it has the most tender kissing scene I’ve ever seen on film. (Ugh, watching sexy stuff on planes is so awkward.) The movie moves at its own pace (slowly), but is truly unique in form and focus. Just watch it!
Wesley Morris’s New York Times essay, “My Mustache, My Self,” which just won the Pulitzer Prize for criticism. I read this piece when it came out last year (also listened), and was happy to re-read and study it recently in a writing workshop I’m taking. Read if you like: Fresh Prince of Bel Air and personal style journeys. It goes way deeper than that, of course. An important read.
“9 Secrets for Finding the Best Craigslist Furniture,” an Architectural Digest profile about Craigslist connoisseur, Madison Brill, by Sydney Gore. The life of an object and the reselling biz are fascinating to me, so I loved this peek into how the sausage is made.
The Paris Review podcast, specifically the recent episode, “Form and Formlessness.” I really enjoy the way they produce their podcasts – the stories read on air come to life with naturalistic sound effects and music queues, and iconic interviews with writers are read either by performers or the actual writers themselves.
The official playlist for Desert Daze, the music festival I attended a couple weeks ago. Festivals can be chaotic, but this one was a little utopia of good vibes and some of my favorite bands. I miss it! In the meantime, I’ll be streaming this playlist.
A photo I took at Desert Daze. Like moths to a flame… The second season of “Love Life” on HBO, which left me completely charmed and moved. I enjoyed the writing (actually laughed out loud a bunch) and following the storylines of flawed yet likable characters that felt realistically drawn.
Jessica Williams and William Jackson Harper in season 2 of “Love Life.” An encouraging snippet about writing from the Ask Polly newsletter:
The “Hung Up” Gift Guide curated by the clever, stylish writer, Hunter Harris. Gift guides can be kind of a snooze when they come from publications or influencers, but I love the ultra curated ones from stylish people authentically sharing their favorite things. This one did not disappoint, except in the way that it made me want to buy for myself rather than for my loved ones. I also loved Haley Nahman’s Favorite Things.
The Kukuwa African Dance Workout, 15 minutes of joyful, high intensity dancing. I did it in my living room the other night and it’s a great workout in a short burst. And so fun!
Thanks for reading!
Floundering is the new stability